So, in a completely uncharacteristic move, I decided to be spontaneous and come to Athens. There's a jazz trombonist that Nathan and I stumbled upon in New Orleans on the Sugar Bowl trip of '07/'08 and we fell in love with him. He's playing here in town tonight, and Nathan invited me to go along with he and Alison. I wasn't going to come, because frankly, I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it in. Well, then Bill calls and says he's going, too, and doesn't want to be the third wheel. Needless to say, it did not take a lot of arm-twisting to get me to come.
I have six 2-page article reviews due on Monday, not to mention 3 books to finish before Tuesday. But I just could not pass this opportunity up. And, while it will be great to see some of my closest friends and hear some good music, I just found myself overwhelmed with the desire to get out of Villa Rica.
I know I'm where I need to be. I know I'm getting the degree that I want, and I'm fine with the workload that comes along with it. But, let's face it - I have never felt more alone in my entire life. I don't want a roommate, and it's nice living by myself for the most part. But, honestly. I wake up alone, I head to the library for work, where I have minimal conversations with Boss-Who-Hates-Me and my 2 co-workers, then I get locked up in an office and spend 5 hours in silence. Then I head to class, where I have some conversation with friends before it starts, then the only words I speak for the next 3 hours involve historical analysis. Then, after a few parting words, I head home to be alone again.
I'm not trying to complain. This is where I need to be right now, and I get that. But seriously, this week I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear - oddly enough, I wanted nothing more than to be alone, but at the same time, wanted to escape the loneliness that I constantly feel. That makes no sense.
It was just a dramatic week, and I've been thrust into a stupid situation that I can't do a thing about, even though something needs to be done. And, in the process, I feel like I'm betraying someone I love, knowing that even if I did tell them about it, it would do the opposite of anything good. I'm stuck.
So, I jumped at the chance to come back to Athens. It's like coming home, even though there are only a precious few people left to come home to. I love the familiar feeling of turning onto loop 10, driving past the places I used to hang out, live, and spend time with my friends. I love stupid things like knowing the right lane ends on College Station so I automatically go to the left. I love walking into a grungy place like ChooChoo and cracking up inside at all the ridiculous crap that went down in that place.
Right now, I'm sitting in my favorite plush leather brown chair in my favorite coffee place in the world, drinking the best coffee I've ever had. I finished my thesis in this place. This is where I first read Twilight. This is where I hung out with Dave. This is where Rachel works and sneaks me free coffee. I feel inexplicably home in this city, though I'd never in a million years move back.
It's like coming home, but in a removed way. This place was the perfect place for me to be in college, and when I come back, it's not to re-experience it. It's just...to steal a few minutes back.
I love the familiarity of what I'm doing. I'm waiting for Bill to get off work from driving campus transit buses, and I'll head to his apartment and he'll call me Big T and we'll solve the world's problems before Nathan and Alison get to town. I'll laugh at all the freshmen trying to get away with their fake id's tonight Downtown.
Maybe this makes me some form of an escapist, but I've been sitting here for 2 hours in this chair, with full access to my schoolwork, but I've been reading Twilight fanfic instead.
And I don't even care.
I'll worry about schoolwork tomorrow. Right now I'm home.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Hug it Out
To preface, here is a picture of one of the best huggers in the whole wide world:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/majorb/4188545771/
So, you all know about the Celebrity Top 5 list. That list that everyone, consciously or subconsciously, keeps in their mind of the top 5 celebrities whom you'd drop everything for if given the chance. Admit it, you have one. I have one. It's just the truth.
Well, I also have a list of people that I want to hug. And not just any hug. No awkward side hugs or ones where you can't figure out where your arms should go or how long they should linger. I mean, full out, big bear hugs.
I consider myself an affectionate person. Hugs really are like a shot of happiness for me. I have had to come to terms with the fact that not all of my friends are affectionate like me, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hug them. I'm talkin' to you, roommate! :)
Anyways, I have a list of celebrities that I would give anything to hug. The standards aren't necessarily high - I am a self-declared hug whore. I'll dish 'em out to anyone who's willing. Unless they haven't bathed or something. I'm talkin' to you, RPattz...
Regardless, there's a growing list of celebrities whom I would love to meet in person, have a conversation with, and give a big hug to. There is not a priority list or ranking of any sort...but here's just a few.
Julie Andrews. The woman is a goddess, honestly. She's won a Nobel Peace Prize. She sings like an angel. And she single-handedly tamed seven rebellious children and managed to win the heart of their overbearing and standoffish father. And rule a fictional country that's famous for things like pear-flavored popcorn. This woman is amazing.
Simon Cowell. Don't be shocked. I love him. He says what everyone is really thinking. And he says it with an accent. I have a thing for sarcastic British guys. Plus, I think he could benefit from a hug after dealing with Paula Abdul for 8 seasons.
Adam Shankman. He's just precious. When he talks about getting goosebumps from watching a dance routine, I get goosebumps myself. I especially love it when he tears up over them. He is just filled with so much passion for what he does. I'm also curious to see if he would spin me out of the hug and proceed to lift me in a way that only little Mollee achieved on SYTYCD.
Neil Patrick Harris. My goodness, I wish he didn't play for the other team...
Zooey Deschanel. No words necessary. I want her wardrobe, too. I feel that after some form of physical contact, I could be in a less awkward place about asking her to give me all of her clothing.
Oh, and Taylor Lautner, Joshua Jackson, John Krasinski, George Clooney, and Hugh Dancy.
You know you were curious.
[Tentatively] Back on the Wagon
So, as addictive as blogging is, even the best of us fall off the wagon. My last post was in October, and after that, I finally figured out what the big hubbub about "graduate school" is really about. So, I had to devote time to that. Plus, with the holiday season and finals and everything...
Ok, Ok, I forgot I had a blog. That's the truth. Boo for me. I remembered this morning, though!
And my boss isn't here today. And no one else is working in Special Collections with me today. I'm all alone in this windowless cement place, and therefore no one can yell at me for slacking a bit. Which, after an incident last semester, I have been frightened of doing. I call this incident "Internet-Gate 2009"
Preface:
My graduate research assistantship is, in a word, boring. It just is. It's the grunt work that everyone has to do before they get anywhere, and I appreciate that and understand its necessity. However, I literally spend 5 hours per shift erasing and relabeling file folders, and removing staples, and making copies of post-it notes. That, my friends, does not make time pass quickly.
We have computer access during this 5 hour time frame, and we have been told we are allowed to check our mail/facebook/etc. Well, after sitting at a desk for 5 hours, every so often, you need a quick 5 minute reprieve. So, I'll glance at Perez Hilton and see if Amy Winehouse is out of rehab, or if Joe Jonas is really back with Selena Gomez or if he's still writing T-Swift love songs. Or, I check out my personal favorite blog, www.2birds1blog.com (the language is horrendous, but it is laugh out loud hilarious). Now, these are all in no more than 5 minute increments. I do not, by any means, spend all day looking at these sites and not getting anything productive done.
Cut to November, when the computer in the main office gets an internet-based virus.
My boss pulls me and my other co-worker into her office and chews us a new one, and won't let us defend ourselves. Even though it is an internet virus that any computer IN THE ENTIRE 3 FLOOR LIBRARY could have contracted because of the connected system...it's clearly our fault. She then checks the internet history and chews us out even more, once again, not letting us defend ourselves.
Couldn't help it, I went home and cried.
My boss is your typical librarian. Pinched lips, narrowed eyes, glasses, slicked back bun, only weighs 90lbs, etc. She's very passive aggressive and, quite frankly, just makes me uncomfortable. However, I don't like it when people are mad at me. So, as a result, I did not touch the computer or the internet for the next 6 weeks until the end of the semester.
However, I'd like to take this moment to thank eb3 for teaching me something bout computers and therefore how to delete browsing history. Just in case.
And then, on our evaluation sheets for the semester, she gave us, on a scale of 1-5, all 4's...with a 3 in the area of "ethical and professional behavior." SERIOUSLY?! Ugggh.
Therefore, I've decided that I will stick it out for this semester, then go ahead and take the massive pay cut and be a TA for next year. This pins-and-needles thing just isn't working for me. And also, I need some human interaction. This office makes me feel cut off from existence. And, I already live by myself - I'd prefer not to work by myself.
And that, was [Internet-Gate 2009]
And, for my next entry, I will delve into the social historical importance of Watergate and how, as a result, anytime there is a major incident, people in America tend to just add a "-gate" to the end of it.
Not really. That would be such a boring entry. I'll probably post again before I leave though. It's too quiet around here.
Back on the wagon. Go 2010.
Ok, Ok, I forgot I had a blog. That's the truth. Boo for me. I remembered this morning, though!
And my boss isn't here today. And no one else is working in Special Collections with me today. I'm all alone in this windowless cement place, and therefore no one can yell at me for slacking a bit. Which, after an incident last semester, I have been frightened of doing. I call this incident "Internet-Gate 2009"
Preface:
My graduate research assistantship is, in a word, boring. It just is. It's the grunt work that everyone has to do before they get anywhere, and I appreciate that and understand its necessity. However, I literally spend 5 hours per shift erasing and relabeling file folders, and removing staples, and making copies of post-it notes. That, my friends, does not make time pass quickly.
We have computer access during this 5 hour time frame, and we have been told we are allowed to check our mail/facebook/etc. Well, after sitting at a desk for 5 hours, every so often, you need a quick 5 minute reprieve. So, I'll glance at Perez Hilton and see if Amy Winehouse is out of rehab, or if Joe Jonas is really back with Selena Gomez or if he's still writing T-Swift love songs. Or, I check out my personal favorite blog, www.2birds1blog.com (the language is horrendous, but it is laugh out loud hilarious). Now, these are all in no more than 5 minute increments. I do not, by any means, spend all day looking at these sites and not getting anything productive done.
Cut to November, when the computer in the main office gets an internet-based virus.
My boss pulls me and my other co-worker into her office and chews us a new one, and won't let us defend ourselves. Even though it is an internet virus that any computer IN THE ENTIRE 3 FLOOR LIBRARY could have contracted because of the connected system...it's clearly our fault. She then checks the internet history and chews us out even more, once again, not letting us defend ourselves.
Couldn't help it, I went home and cried.
My boss is your typical librarian. Pinched lips, narrowed eyes, glasses, slicked back bun, only weighs 90lbs, etc. She's very passive aggressive and, quite frankly, just makes me uncomfortable. However, I don't like it when people are mad at me. So, as a result, I did not touch the computer or the internet for the next 6 weeks until the end of the semester.
However, I'd like to take this moment to thank eb3 for teaching me something bout computers and therefore how to delete browsing history. Just in case.
And then, on our evaluation sheets for the semester, she gave us, on a scale of 1-5, all 4's...with a 3 in the area of "ethical and professional behavior." SERIOUSLY?! Ugggh.
Therefore, I've decided that I will stick it out for this semester, then go ahead and take the massive pay cut and be a TA for next year. This pins-and-needles thing just isn't working for me. And also, I need some human interaction. This office makes me feel cut off from existence. And, I already live by myself - I'd prefer not to work by myself.
And that, was [Internet-Gate 2009]
And, for my next entry, I will delve into the social historical importance of Watergate and how, as a result, anytime there is a major incident, people in America tend to just add a "-gate" to the end of it.
Not really. That would be such a boring entry. I'll probably post again before I leave though. It's too quiet around here.
Back on the wagon. Go 2010.
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